Although I doubt anyone is reading this, I feel the need to apologize for a) not posting for a couple of weeks and b) not starting my resolutions at the start of March which is what I had intended. Although I am trying to avoid the "I'm too busy" excuse, the past couple of weeks have been pretty nuts and so this personal project was pushed to the back burner.
My next step is to finalize my resolutions for the next 12 months. I am still going to start the project this month (partly because it's still the beginning(ish) of March, and partly because I don't want to put this off anymore). Moving onto the goals, this is what I have come up with so far. Each month has a little "theme" per say, and then subsequent goals will be determined as the months ago along. Each theme is an area of my life (or myself) that I feel needs more attention or improvement.
My Resolutions
- March - Take time to breathe
- April - Taking risks
- May - Mindfulness
- June - Show affection
- July - Being alone (but not lonely)
- August - Being thankful
- September - Organization
- October - Reduce tension
- November - Be a better friend
- December - Do (and find) what you enjoy
- January - Staying on track
- February - Temper
These themes/goals for each month are still in their "draft" phase and may shift as the project continues. Maybe I'll pick up on another aspect of my life that needs to be addressed, or maybe one of the aforementioned goals won't be in need of my focus as time passes. But I digress, and for now, I'll focus on the goal/theme for March 2014: Take time to breathe.
I have made this my first goal for a few reasons, but the main reason is that I have recently spent a lot of time and energy working on my problems with anxiety and want to continue my focus on this area of personal growth.
I have been highly anxious for as long as I can remember (although I didn't always know to recognize these feeling as anxiety, or being based in my anxiety). I am known in my friend group as the "anxious" or "tense" one, which I'm 100% fine with because this 100% true.
In grades five and six, I had to eat Tums stomach tablets before school every morning due to nausea and a constant feeling of uneasiness. In high school, I mistook anxiety for depression and felt alone a lot of the time. My social anxiety came to a head last year, and I found myself unable to sleep at night and desperately avoiding certain social situations. I hated meeting new people. I hated starting conversations. I felt terrible about myself and had a hard time trusting people.
I am in no way saying that my experiences with anxiety are specific to me, and I recognize that many people go through these feelings. Many of us feel anxiety at certain points in our lives, and to different extents of severity. Anxiety can depend on a multitude of factors and can come and go during one's lifetime. While I have never been officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Social Anxiety Disorder, I felt these types of anxiety at their most concentrated points during the year 2013, and it was starting to affect my daily life to the point that it felt disabling.
Feeling fed up with my anxiety and the negative impact it was having on my life, I addressed the problem with counselling which has been very helpful. I was able to recognize parts of my life that were causing my stress, and learn new skills to address them. I have been working on my attitude and personal resiliency, which has also helped. While I have been feeling significantly better, I want to continue on this path with this theme of "taking time to breathe".
Although I could talk about anxiety related stuff
forever (this is also my area of research for my masters degree) I will break down this general goal into 3 smaller goals that I will try to complete over the next few weeks.
1) Take at least 15 minutes each day for quiet time/time for reflection. 15 minutes may sound like too little or too long of an amount of time for this to be effective, but in the daily grind of emailing, texting, twitter, online courses, and every other form of communication, I feel that a few minutes each day away from these distractions will give me time to check in with myself about how stressed or anxious I'm feeling.
2) Allow myself to recognize how I'm feeling. This is something that I don't normally do, and I'm betting I'm not the only one. Something "adverse" happens in my life, and instead of looking to myself to recognize how I'm feeling (and how I can properly address these emotions), I am far more likely to busy myself with other tasks to ignore any upsetting emotions. I predict that by allowing myself to both feel and deal with such feelings, I will be better able to keep any anxiety at bay, or minimize it.
3) Deep breathes. Deep breathing is a relaxation technique that I have heard about for years, and that was recommended to me a few months ago. I always thought it sounded stupid and/or was too easy of a technique to really work. I used to do in the car on the way to certain social events, and found it somewhat helpful, but I didn't give it a real shot and therefore am including it in my goals. For anyone else who is interested in this technique, I have been told by health professionals that deep breathes from your stomach (not shallow ones from your chest) are the most helpful. You can do them everyday, or before certain events that you predict will provoke an anxiety attack.
How does any of this relate to my
happiness? I'm predicting that less anxiety = more happiness (or feelings of happiness).
I'm going to track these goals in a
resolution chart as laid out on The Happiness Project
website.
Well I feel that I have rambled on enough for one day ... let's see how successful I'll be with this months resolutions.
Susan
