Showing affection can sometimes be a very difficult thing for me and I'm not sure why. My parents have always been affectionate, my family is generally open and loving, and the majority of my friends appear to be quite comfortable with this concept. When I think about it, it's kind of strange that I, a person who has been in multiple long term relationships and holds a fairly solid group of friends/family, have a hard time feeling comfortable with showing affection. I generally associate affection-showing with awkwardness, or too much contact with people (Weird? Maybe I have a guard up? Anyways).
The only reason I can come up with for this discomfort with the expression of affection is the vulnerability that I perceive to be attached to this concept. But does showing affection actually make someone vulnerable? Maybe yes, in the sense that they are openly expressing their emotions, but maybe no. Maybe the ability to express affection demonstrates a certain confidence in feeling comfortable with both yourself and your emotions? Comfortable enough to express them without fear of judgement from your peers? Anyways I digress ...
How might affection be related to my happiness? I'm not 100% sure, but I'm predicting that an increased comfort level in showing affection will positively enhance the relationships around me, which may in turn enhance my (perceived) levels of happiness? (Now I sound like I'm writing another thesis ... ugh). I am definitely turning into that annoying psychology student friend who tries to turn everything into a psychological discussion. But moving on (goal breakdown as I am writing this on my lunch break and don't have much time left).
3 ways to hopefully improve my comfort levels with showing affection:
1) Hug at least one person a day (without crossing boundaries and/or being creepy, obviously)
2) If I'm feeling positive/happy while hanging out with someone, I will (try to) tell them
3) Try to commit 1 act of gratitude for someone in my life at least 3 times a week
I KNOW I KNOW there are only 2 weeks left to June. But I've been busy. Working 1 full time job, 1 part time job, being in school full time, collecting data, volunteering, and trying to still have a social life has taken over my summer. I'm trying y'all (even though no one is reading this anyways so it doesn't matter...).
Susan
Thursday, 19 June 2014
Monday, 16 June 2014
Falling off (and getting back on) the bandwagon?
Apparently, I suck at blogging. The last time I attempted to post anything was about two months ago. This is what I wrote.
"I actually hate the saying "hopping on the bandwagon" or anything else to do with a bandwagon, but I felt like it was an appropriate title for this post as I have fallen behind on my happiness project. I was very motivated to complete this project at the beginning, and still am wanting to finish it, however it's hard to keep on top of this between school, working, volunteering, and trying to find time to hang out with friends/family during the week. I don't even think I've been to the gym in three weeks (terrible - I know). We are already halfway into April and I'm only now looking at my April goals, but better late that never?
My goals for April are related to taking risks. I chose to work on this goal for a couple of reasons, the main one being that I am a pretty cautious and regulated person in my day to day life. I have certain routines that I like to follow through with, I don't like to extend far beyond these normal/routine activities, and I am pretty dependent on these routines/the people within them. Although there is nothing wrong with having a routine (and I think that we, as humans, are more productive when we have some semblance of a routine in our lives), I feel that this reliance on the everyday has hindered my ability to take risks and look outside the little world I've created for myself.
Unlike March, I am not going to break down the goal of taking risks because a) I don't have as much time left in this month and b) I feel that my upcoming trip is going to fully encompass the meaning of this goal or rather what I want to improve in myself.
As I mentioned in my previous post and in less than two weeks, I will be flying to France to see my friend Janet and from there we will be going to England and Greece."
... two months later, I will try to finish this post.
I went to Europe with Janet and had a great trip. Although I hated the hostels and was quite anxiety ridden throughout my travels, it was certainly a lesson in getting out on my own and handling things for myself. In a weird sense, I almost preferred travelling alone because the only person you need to worry about is yourself. Yes, I was with Janet most of the time, but flying from Canada to Europe by myself was quite intimidating. While I could talk about my trip to Europe for hours, I'll summarize but saying that while the Ativan helped, I feel like the trip helped me realize that I am okay on my own. I "took a risk", and felt good about it. Has this improved my overall happiness? I'm not sure.
My goal for June is to show affection. I am actually terrible at this. I am not one for lots of hugs or telling others how much I appreciate/like/love them. I'm currently looking out a window over the harbour of my city and wondering how on earth I can address this goal (which I am late starting, AGAIN).
I'll get back to this tomorrow. At least I'm back to blogging?
Susan
"I actually hate the saying "hopping on the bandwagon" or anything else to do with a bandwagon, but I felt like it was an appropriate title for this post as I have fallen behind on my happiness project. I was very motivated to complete this project at the beginning, and still am wanting to finish it, however it's hard to keep on top of this between school, working, volunteering, and trying to find time to hang out with friends/family during the week. I don't even think I've been to the gym in three weeks (terrible - I know). We are already halfway into April and I'm only now looking at my April goals, but better late that never?
My goals for April are related to taking risks. I chose to work on this goal for a couple of reasons, the main one being that I am a pretty cautious and regulated person in my day to day life. I have certain routines that I like to follow through with, I don't like to extend far beyond these normal/routine activities, and I am pretty dependent on these routines/the people within them. Although there is nothing wrong with having a routine (and I think that we, as humans, are more productive when we have some semblance of a routine in our lives), I feel that this reliance on the everyday has hindered my ability to take risks and look outside the little world I've created for myself.
Unlike March, I am not going to break down the goal of taking risks because a) I don't have as much time left in this month and b) I feel that my upcoming trip is going to fully encompass the meaning of this goal or rather what I want to improve in myself.
As I mentioned in my previous post and in less than two weeks, I will be flying to France to see my friend Janet and from there we will be going to England and Greece."
... two months later, I will try to finish this post.
I went to Europe with Janet and had a great trip. Although I hated the hostels and was quite anxiety ridden throughout my travels, it was certainly a lesson in getting out on my own and handling things for myself. In a weird sense, I almost preferred travelling alone because the only person you need to worry about is yourself. Yes, I was with Janet most of the time, but flying from Canada to Europe by myself was quite intimidating. While I could talk about my trip to Europe for hours, I'll summarize but saying that while the Ativan helped, I feel like the trip helped me realize that I am okay on my own. I "took a risk", and felt good about it. Has this improved my overall happiness? I'm not sure.
My goal for June is to show affection. I am actually terrible at this. I am not one for lots of hugs or telling others how much I appreciate/like/love them. I'm currently looking out a window over the harbour of my city and wondering how on earth I can address this goal (which I am late starting, AGAIN).
I'll get back to this tomorrow. At least I'm back to blogging?
Susan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)